Who Am I Without My Past Eating-Disorders?

In my “About Me” section and in past posts, I’ve given so much power to my previous eating-disorders and talked as if my eating-disorders are all that I’m about. Although having struggles with food in the past has/is definitely been a prominent part of my life, it is not all I am. I am more than my eating-disorders. I’d like to tell you more about who I am as a person.

I have a big heart. I am an extremely caring person and empathetic person. I care way too much about others and can feel others’ emotional pain, almost as if it’s my own. I get told that I’m “too nice” all the time. I cry often during movies and TV shows. I smile all the time and laugh a lot (and loudly). I think basic manners, like saying “please” and “thank you” are extremely important. I’m vegan because I love animals and I don’t agree with supporting such a cruel industry. I have a dog and a cat whom I love dearly. I love my parents and my older brother. I love my boyfriend, and we’ve been together 2.5 years. I love to train and lift weights. I’m an introvert. I want to either go to nursing school and get my BSN or a Bachelor’s in nutritional science. I rarely drink and don’t really like to party or go to bars. I love to be outdoors and do things like hiking and camping. Training and working out is my therapy and I love being strong.

There’s more to me than a history of eating disorders.

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I Wish I Knew This Years Ago

During today’s workout I did some reflecting…

For the longest time I was self-conscious about having “big” legs. Even when I was at my lightest weight, I still thought my legs were huge. And yes, my legs are bigger in proportion to my upper body because genetically, I store fat in my lower body before it makes its way to my upper body. I had friends with these tiny little legs and I always wished mine could be that tiny too. But they never could be. And they probably never will. Because my body is not built that way. Everybody is different, with differences in genetics, body composition, structure, metabolism, etc. You gotta work with what you got. I wasn’t okay with this for a long time, but now I am.

In fact, I’m more than okay with this. I LOVE my legs now. They are big because they are strong. Instead of doing only cardio to get them smaller, I purposely work them out to make them stronger. They help me to be powerful. and to jump, squat, lunge, and everything else in between. And even though I work out my legs regularly, I still have cellulite. I also have stretch marks. But who cares? At the end of the day, does it really matter if someone has cellulite? NO.

So whether you are self-conscious about having cellulite, a flat chest, a big chest, being tall, being short, having skinny legs or big legs, a muffin top, a flat booty, or whatever it may be, embrace it and learn to love yourself just the way your are. We’re all different and we’re all human. Respect your body because it’s the only one you got.