About Me

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I’m Shelby. I’m vegan.

I’ve struggled for as long as I can remember with body image. My goal used to be to get as small as possible and I did this is an unhealthy manner–through under-eating and over-exercising. I would aim for around 1,000 calories a day from “clean” foods only, and would combine that with intense workouts. I was obsessed with weight loss. I lost my period for over a year, which is when I realized that I was doing something terribly wrong.

After this, I decided I would stop tracking calories and practice “mindful eating”; However, going from suffering from being obsessed with number, whether those on the scale or from nutrition facts labels to having no sort of structure whatsoever, this led me to my next phase. Binge-eating disorder. I felt like I had no control over anything and would eat and eat and eat until I felt like throwing up. It usually started with having one “bad” food and then I would feel like I ruined my nutrition for the day and I would binge on anything sweet and carb-loaded. For a while I was binging everyday and then would feel so guilty that the cycle would just continue. I just felt so trapped and lost like I would never be able to get out of that dreadful cycle.

Today, I still struggle from time to time. I overeat from time to time, which I feel is “normal,” but I haven’t binged for a while now. I love weight lifting and to do body-building style workouts. I love to push my body to be stronger. I want to be strong, and not just strong for a vegan.

Yes, I still struggle with those obsessive behaviors, but I am growing and learning everyday. Β If you have a similar story or are struggling with the same type of thing, any thoughts/tips/advice is welcome!

9 thoughts on “About Me

  1. Your story sounds like something every other person has gone through in an effort to “get in shape” and/or “be healthy.” I used to eat as little as I could and work out as much as I could. The idea of burning more calories than you consume sounded logical to me. Of course, I wasn’t getting the right nutrients that my body needed to properly function with all the added stress that working out added so I didn’t see results. I realized how important nutrition is along with exercise, and I’m sure glad I did! πŸ™‚
    You seem like you’re making good progress in that area, though. Keep up the awesome work!

    • I’ve definitely been trying to let loose a little bit while still maintaining my weight! It’s a challenge every day but I think I can handle it. I’m glad you also realized how important nutrition is! Thanks for the kind words πŸ˜€

  2. Hey Shelby!

    Wow this could have basically been me writing this, I have the exact same obsession with healthy food! At first I was driven by restricting calories and cutting both fat and carbs from my diet. Then I realised how vital fats were in terms of vitamin absorption and how bad sugar was so I restricted all sugar. I have done high-protein low carb diets. I’ve been vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free and tried food combining! And after lots and lots of research on nutrition and diets (I’m not sure if you feel the same) it’s very hard to try and forget what you’ve learned… like the calorie content of everything, the sugars the fats etc…! So every time I eat something I am aware of how bad it is for me which is difficult to ignore, then comes the guilt! Like you explained in your story it really does impact your social life. I had no energy what so ever so hardly ever went out with friends, going for meals was far to stressful figuring out all the food math before hand etc… I like to think that now I am changed I am trying to push all the negative thoughts about food to the back of my mind. I tell myself that none of my friends are as obsessed as I am with food and they are all gorgeous and much happier than I am. I think I am heading in the right direction I am using my knowledge of healthy food and nutrition to eat a wholesome balanced diet and I am not beating myself up for treating myself every now and again. I believe the best relationship to have with food is, as the old saying goes: everything in moderation. Please try and free yourself from any food restrictions because at the end of the day a restricted mind creates a toxic body no matter what you put in it! And there is no point in looking fantastic if you are not able to enjoy life! I will always have a passion for food and for now on a passion for health and well-being too! πŸ™‚

    Good Luck sweetie
    XxX

    • We seem to have gone through/are going through a lot of the same things! I can completely relate with most of what you said, especially about how doing lots of research on nutrition can make you crazy because you know about how bad certain foods are for you. Once you know whats bad and whats good, it’s hard to eat the ‘bad’ foods, even if it is only every once in a while. I also agree that everything is okay in moderation, but it still is hard for me to let myself eat that cupcake or whatever it may be, without feeling guilty. That’s definitely something I have to work on. Thank you for writing this, I appreciate your kind words. It feels good to know that I’m not the only one who struggles from this type of thing. Best of luck to you, as well! πŸ˜€

    • It is such a unique disorder, but it seriously has such a negative impact! It helps me to know that their are other people with similar issues as myself, so thanks for sharing! Wishing you the best of luck in the future πŸ™‚

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