I’m Shelby. I’m vegan.
I’ve struggled for as long as I can remember with body image. My goal used to be to get as small as possible and I did this is an unhealthy manner–through under-eating and over-exercising. I would aim for around 1,000 calories a day from “clean” foods only, and would combine that with intense workouts. I was obsessed with weight loss. I lost my period for over a year, which is when I realized that I was doing something terribly wrong.
After this, I decided I would stop tracking calories and practice “mindful eating”; However, going from suffering from being obsessed with number, whether those on the scale or from nutrition facts labels to having no sort of structure whatsoever, this led me to my next phase. Binge-eating disorder. I felt like I had no control over anything and would eat and eat and eat until I felt like throwing up. It usually started with having one “bad” food and then I would feel like I ruined my nutrition for the day and I would binge on anything sweet and carb-loaded. For a while I was binging everyday and then would feel so guilty that the cycle would just continue. I just felt so trapped and lost like I would never be able to get out of that dreadful cycle.
Today, I still struggle from time to time. I overeat from time to time, which I feel is “normal,” but I haven’t binged for a while now. I love weight lifting and to do body-building style workouts. I love to push my body to be stronger. I want to be strong, and not just strong for a vegan.
Yes, I still struggle with those obsessive behaviors, but I am growing and learning everyday. If you have a similar story or are struggling with the same type of thing, any thoughts/tips/advice is welcome!