Thoughts from the Weekend

  1. It is so great how much rain we have been getting in southern California. I can’t even recall a time where we’ve gotten the amount of rain that we have this winter.
  2. People LOVE to pressure you to drink. I already knew this but it’s so weird how people do this. My boyfriend and I went to a 21st birthday party on Saturday and neither of us felt like drinking that night. I am not kidding when I say that almost everyone came up to us and asked “Why aren’t you drinking??!!” or “Let me make you a drink!” or “Come on!! take a shot with meeeee.” I felt like I was committing a crime because people were so concerned about the fact that we weren’t drinking, even though we were enjoying ourselves without any alcohol. I never have understood why people have such a strong urge to pressure other people to drink. If you want to drink, I have no problem with it and I’m not saying I’ll never drink again but that particular night I just didn’t feel like it.
  3. I was supposed to go to Disneyland on Friday buuuuut it was pouring rain, so it was mutually decided that it probably wouldn’t be very fun to stand in lines in the rain. So we’re postponing the trip until this Friday. Yay.
  4. We finally got our sh*t together and took down our Christmas tree.
  5. I saw “Patriot’s Day” and it was sooo good. I thoroughly enjoyed it and shed a bunch of tears.                                                                                                                                                       All in all, I had a good weekend. What did YOU do this weekend?!

Who Am I Without My Past Eating-Disorders?

In my “About Me” section and in past posts, I’ve given so much power to my previous eating-disorders and talked as if my eating-disorders are all that I’m about. Although having struggles with food in the past has/is definitely been a prominent part of my life, it is not all I am. I am more than my eating-disorders. I’d like to tell you more about who I am as a person.

I have a big heart. I am an extremely caring person and empathetic person. I care way too much about others and can feel others’ emotional pain, almost as if it’s my own. I get told that I’m “too nice” all the time. I cry often during movies and TV shows. I smile all the time and laugh a lot (and loudly). I think basic manners, like saying “please” and “thank you” are extremely important. I’m vegan because I love animals and I don’t agree with supporting such a cruel industry. I have a dog and a cat whom I love dearly. I love my parents and my older brother. I love my boyfriend, and we’ve been together 2.5 years. I love to train and lift weights. I’m an introvert. I want to either go to nursing school and get my BSN or a Bachelor’s in nutritional science. I rarely drink and don’t really like to party or go to bars. I love to be outdoors and do things like hiking and camping. Training and working out is my therapy and I love being strong.

There’s more to me than a history of eating disorders.

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My top 10 Vegan Protein Sources

DSC_0090.jpgIf you ask any vegan what the most commonly asked question that they hear is, I bet they’ll answer with, “but how do you get your protein?” I have gotten asked this question SO many times and it’s crazy to me that some people are still under the impression that it’s hard for vegans to get enough protein. Truth is, a lot of people overestimate the amount of protein that we actually need. Protein deficiency is pretty much a non-issue unless you’re severely under-eating. Anyways, here is a list of my top vegan sources of protein (for the time being):

 

  1. Tofu- I know this is totally cliche, but I happen to LOVE tofu. It’s great because it’s versatile and can take on almost any flavor. It contains 7 g of protein per 70 calories. 1 g/10 cal is pretty protein dense. I typically eat 1/3 of a box at a time which is about 10 g of protein and 100 calories. I love it in stir frys with teriyaki sauce.dsc_0096
  2. Black Beans- or any beans, really. You can never go wrong with beans. They’re yummy in anything: soups, chilis, burritos, you name it. 10 g of protein per 1/2 cup serving.
  3. Garbanzo Beans- This might be redundant because I just listed beans above and I guess technically these are beans; however, when I think of beans I don’t think of these guys so I thought I’d throw them on the list anyway. My favorite way to eat garbanzo beans is in salads. They add a unique flavor and texture and are just so good. Also, hummus. Yum. The serving size is also 1/2 cup and you get 10 g of protein.

    4. Powdered Peanut Butter- All nut butters have a significant amount of protein but the reason that I love this powdered version is because it has way less calories but still packs the same amount of protein. All you have to do is stir it with water and use it however you would use your typical peanut butter. A 2 tablespoon serving is only 50 calories whereas in typical nut butters is ~ 190 calories. In that 2 tablespoon serving you get 6 g of protein.

    5. Edamame Spaghetti- This stuff is incredible. I swear. It’s so good and contains 24 grams of protein (!!!) in one serving. Enough said.

    6. Black Bean Spaghetti- Similar to the above except made from black beans. Equally as incredible. For a serving containing 215 calories, you get 25 grams of protein. So great.

    7. Meatless Meatballs- If you want a super protein-packed meal, you can put these on top of your edamame or black bean spaghetti. They’re so yummy and have so much flavor! For 6 meatballs, there are 14 grams of protein.

    8. Orgain Protein Powder- This is BY FAR my favorite protein powder I’ve ever tried! It’s not chalky, it blends well and tastes delicious. I put two scoops in my oatmeal every morning for a little extra boost of protein and because it makes my oats super chocolatey. Mmmm. I also love to add this into shakes with almond milk and banana. For a serving of 2 scoops, it has 21 grams of protein.

    9. Quinoa- My favorite grain when I’m looking to get in some quality protein. One cup contains about 8 grams of protein. I almost always have quinoa in the house which is why I keep it in a generic container and don’t have a nutrition label to show.dsc_0111

    10. Van’s Power Grains Waffles- These are a very recent discovery of mine and they’ve already become one of my faves. For 2 waffles, you get 10 grams of protein. They’re so so so good. I love putting peanut butter and jelly on top.dsc_0109dsc_0110

Share with me your favorite vegan protein sources, and let me know if we share any of the same favorites!

I Wish I Knew This Years Ago

During today’s workout I did some reflecting…

For the longest time I was self-conscious about having “big” legs. Even when I was at my lightest weight, I still thought my legs were huge. And yes, my legs are bigger in proportion to my upper body because genetically, I store fat in my lower body before it makes its way to my upper body. I had friends with these tiny little legs and I always wished mine could be that tiny too. But they never could be. And they probably never will. Because my body is not built that way. Everybody is different, with differences in genetics, body composition, structure, metabolism, etc. You gotta work with what you got. I wasn’t okay with this for a long time, but now I am.

In fact, I’m more than okay with this. I LOVE my legs now. They are big because they are strong. Instead of doing only cardio to get them smaller, I purposely work them out to make them stronger. They help me to be powerful. and to jump, squat, lunge, and everything else in between. And even though I work out my legs regularly, I still have cellulite. I also have stretch marks. But who cares? At the end of the day, does it really matter if someone has cellulite? NO.

So whether you are self-conscious about having cellulite, a flat chest, a big chest, being tall, being short, having skinny legs or big legs, a muffin top, a flat booty, or whatever it may be, embrace it and learn to love yourself just the way your are. We’re all different and we’re all human. Respect your body because it’s the only one you got.

When things get a bit… dislocated

You know when you feel super motivated or excited to do something, but then life happens and stops you from doing what you wanted? I’m sure you do. We’ve all been there.

So yesterday, I had a great upper body workout and I had posted on here for the first time in years so I was in a really good mood all day. Then at night, I dislocated my shoulder. Stuff happens.

So I have what is called “chronic shoulder instability,” which basically is when (in my case) the ligaments in your shoulders are extremely stretchy which causes your shoulders to pop in and out of place. I’ve always known that I have really flexible shoulders; for example, I could clasp my hands together in front of my body and bring them over my head and down to my lower back all without unclasping them. I used to do this all the time to stretch them out, or honestly just because I could. In retrospect, I now know this probably wasn’t the greatest idea. My shoulders popping in and out of place has been happening to me for the past 2 years or so, on both arms, but they always have popped out and then immediately popped back in. But, the reason last night was different was because my shoulder stayed out of it’s socket for about a minute. I honestly had no idea what to do. I just laid there, screamed and freaked myself out AKA I did everything but remain calm. If you’ve ever dislocated you know how disgusting even the thought of a bone being out of place is, which is why I was freaking out. It feels SO cringy. Eventually I began to move my shoulder backwards and it slowly moved back into place. I’ve been wearing a sling during the day because I don’t want to forget and make any sudden moves. I also wore it to sleep so that I wouldn’t accidentally move it in my sleep. I’m scared to move it because the joint just feels loose? I don’t really know how to describe it, but I’m just worried it will happen again.

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I went to the doctor today and got an X-ray and a referral to see an orthopedic doctor. I should hear the results in 24-48 hours.

Anyways, the purpose of this post is not just to complain about my shoulder. The point is to say that there is always going to be something that is less than ideal going on. One of my New Year’s resolutions was to be able to do unassisted pull ups by the end of the year. Obviously I won’t be able to practice those or work out my upper body for a little bit, and I thought of that immediately after, but that’s okay. I was given this advice by one of the senior citizens that lives at the retirement home that I work at: “just roll with the punches.” That’s what I kept repeating to myself. I still managed to workout this morning even though I couldn’t do anything involving my arms which is kind of limiting.I still managed to sweat and get my blood flowing and got a great pump. There was so much more that I wanted to do, but all I could do was think about how important rest is in recovery and just how minor my injury actually is in the grand scheme of things. I’m grateful that it’s not worse and that I’m not in pain. It’s normal to get frustrated when things stunt your progress, but dwelling on it is not going to make it any better. A positive mindset is everything. Move on, smile, and realize just how lucky you are.

Has anyone ever dislocated a shoulder? If so, how did you treat it? I’m so curious to hear more about it, so please let me know!

Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself…

Hey, everyone! I’m so excited to be back! So much has changed since I last posted here. I’m vegan now, for one. But many other things have changed in way of my mindset. I was contemplating creating an entirely new blog but after much thought, I decided it would be interesting to keep my old posts and compare my mindset of where I was when I was age 19 versus 23 (now). I feel like the name of my blog still applies also. I came up with the name “The hike to healthy” when I was just starting to let go of wanting to eat “perfectly.” The hike to healthy, to me, is about the journey that I’ve been through in regards to my own health. The term “healthy” is subjective and can be interpreted in a number of different ways. And there is no such thing as being perfectly healthy. When I refer to health, I’m talking mental and emotional as well as physical. It has been a constant uphill climb and I am still growing and learning how to balance eating (vegan) donuts and still feeling like a beautiful, happy person afterwards and not let it give my immense amounts of guilt.

Reading my old posts, but more specifically my last and second-to-last posts from October 30-31, 2012 is so eerie to me. I was at a transition point where I had finally realized that I had been extremely under-eating and was tired of being obsessed with calories and nutrition labels and the scale. I self-diagnosed myself with Orthorexia because I was so infatuated with “clean” foods. I literally was scared of “bad” foods AKA those with a lot of sugar, fat, carbs, salt, etc. I was also scared, like actually scared, to eat foods that weren’t whole grain or wheat like white bread. So distorted, I know. I was eating 1000-1200 calories and working out intensely almost every day. I am 5’6″ and my lowest weight was 127. Weighing 127 at 5’6″ is not considered underweight but I was definitely under eating and over exercising and essentially starving myself. I realized I had a problem when I stopped getting my period for over a year. I did research and found out this was actually a known thing, called secondary amenorrhea, which usually occurs in athletes with a high activity level or those who are under eating. Basically, your body thinks your starving and stops your period because you wouldn’t be fit to be a mother. That’s actually amazing, if you really think about it.

Both of these pictures are of me at 18-20 years old eating around 1000-1200 calories a day combined with intense workouts everyday.


Next, I entered the terrible phase of my life where I started doing the exact opposite of what I was doing before. Instead of starving myself, I starting binging. It started to happen every now and then and I didn’t think too much of it. I just figured I was hungry from being starving for so long, which is true. But then it became more often and this started a vicious cycle of binging followed by extreme guilt. I’m estimating that I gained around 45 pounds in the course of about a year. I never weighed myself because I was terrified to see that number. The one time I got the courage to weigh myself I remember seeing that I was 181 pounds. I was so horrified because of how fast I gained the weight. I think I binged for about 2.5 years and during periods of high stress I was binging almost every day. Like eating until I physically couldn’t eat anymore, to the point I felt sick and like I was going to throw up. I couldn’t stop until I felt that way, which was scary because once I started binging I was completely out of control and HAD to keep eating. I felt so trapped and I remember feeling like I was always going to have Binge Eating Disorder. I wanted so desperately to stop but I didn’t know how. I know these pictures don’t really show my body all too well, but I don’t have many pictures from that time period because I didn’t want to remember what I looked like.

20-22 years old, who knows the amount of calories, little to no exercise.

My binging started to be less frequent and then completely stop once I found out I loved body building and lifting weights. Lifting weights makes me feel so strong and now, my focus is developing my muscles and fueling my body properly. I still struggle with feelings of guilt and obsessive thoughts from time to time, or have days where I am unhappy with the way my body looks, but I am a work in progress. This is me now ~165 pounds(haven’t weighed myself in a while), more muscular and happier with my body than ever.

Also, every body is different. Just because I weigh a certain weight now or disliked my body at a certain weight does not mean that one shouldn’t hate their body at that weight. The reason I was unhappy with my body at 180 pounds is because of the mental state I was in. Every body is beautiful.

If anyone has similar stories, questions, comments, please don’t hesitate to ask! I would LOVE to hear from you guys.

A very unhalloweenish Halloween

Happy Halloween everyone!! Halloween is usually one of my favorite times of the year, but this year I didn’t really have the opportunity to celebrate it 😟 I didn’t go to any Halloween parties so I didn’t dress up at all. This is the first year that I didn’t dress up. This makes me a sad girl.

Today was basically like every other Wednesday for me. I went to my bio lab in the morning for a few hours, then came home and did some reading and relaxed and at night went to my nutritional science class. Luckily my professor kind ofhas a heart and let us out early (730 instead of 9) so I was able to hand out some candy to trick or treaters 😀. I think my mom and i were a little over prepared this year because we went to Costco and got a huge bag of candy to only get a whopping 12 trick or treaters. Oh well.

The bad thing about having like 200 pieces of leftover candy is that I’m bound to eat it. Mixing a bag of chocolate candies with a girl who is trying to overcome a binge eating disorder is not necessarily a good idea. Hell, it’s just about the worst idea ever. And I know that now. Too bad it’s about 25 pieces of candy later aka the damage has been done. I thought I’d be able to handle having the bag in the house, but apparently not. Whatever I’m not going to dwell on it and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, right?

Alright I’m going to go to sleep since I have class early tomorrow morning. And i have a ball of fluff that is begging me to cuddle.

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Did you do anything exciting and fun for Halloween? Id love to celebrate Halloween vicariously through you 😉😄

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